I stopped chronicling my dating life for a while over the summer. I had quite a few adventures! Things have settled now and I’m still single.
There were ups and downs this summer. I was seeing 5 guys: Lawyer, KG (kid guy), Nigerian, Events, and another one who escapes me now and obviously didn’t make it very far
Lawyer was actually more interested than he ever came off. I wasn’t too interested so he was one of the first to take a hit. My line to him “I am getting serious with someone else.” — It was a little bit of a lie to avoid confrontation.
Nigerian and I only saw each other twice. We weren’t really feeling it. “I am getting serious with another girl.” I hoped for him that this was true and congratulated him. He’s still active on OKC.
Events - Never heard from again after he went to SDCC and told me I was on his “gift list.” So that was complete bullshit.
KG stayed around for about a month and a half consistently. He always was excited to see me. We saw each other about twice a week for significant amounts of time. Great sex. Great. Sex. And great conversation. He asked me to spend the night which I wasn’t really OK with but in a short amount of time I was dropping my insecurities and walls to sleep at his place, get brunch together, ditch work on monday mornings (I work from home), let him meet my new roommate. He helped me move and I liked his reliability. I encouraged loose plans for the future and he SEEMED to happily agree.
I knew he was seeing other women and that made me feel really vulnerable. I liked this guy. I was totally interested in not seeing anyone else and just enjoying my time with him. and then deciding later if we liked each other enough to continue. But I think I’m the only person in the world who thinks it should go this way.
So I asked him to hang out more regularly, like maybe 3 times a week which never happened. WHICH HE AGREED TO HAPPILY.
(note: I’m a nonverbal communication nerd. if he wasn’t in it, then I would have known)
The week before he told me he didn’t want to see me anymore, I wanted to see him more and he didn’t have time. I might have whined a little. Friday, he says he misses me. Not a regular occurrence. Saturday I did something stupid: signed up to give blood and clean my old apartment for move out ready….. you’re not supposed to do exhausting work 12 hours after you give blood. So I called him (irregular) to see if he had a second to console me (stupid stuff girls are made of. I’m even embarrassed to admit that I did it). He was busy.
He came over Sunday and was really exhausted and nodding off while I was talking to him. We went to bed early and I made breakfast in the morning and didn’t let him stay past 9:30. This time when he came over, he brought flip flops plus his regular shoes (we have a no shoe policy in my home) —- not something he had done before, and said we should make plans to see each other more that week, and even was talking about getting a toll road pass for cheaper fares to come over. Three things that don’t say “hey, I’m about to tell you I’m not interested”. We agreed to see each other on Wednesday
I text him later on Monday and playfully ask why he left (we both know why). He didn’t get back to me. I sent him a photo of my outfit for dance that night. there was a lot of skin (I’ve sent him pics in the past, this isn’t a new thing). No response. Something’s wrong. I immediately know he’s not interested in seeing me again.
Two days later I still haven’t heard from him. “Hey are we still hanging out tonight? You’ve been radio silent.” “if I tell you we’re going to hang out I plan on doing it. I’d cancel if I wasn’t going to make it.” wow. ” btw - nice legs ;) ” wow. really!? I’d really preferred he didn’t even acknowledge that I sent it to him because now i DAMN well know that he is ignoring me. “Ok see you then.”
And sure the fuck enough he give me the “we’re happy when we’re together but when I’m away from you I have reservations.” he’s already made up his mind. He doesn’t want to see me again. says that I need something different than he does and a whole bunch of other shit that makes zero fuckin sense. I remained calm the whole time and even asked if he wanted to come inside and talk it out. He hung his head and shuffled toward me. No way. He’s done. totally done and doesn’t want to talk about it. I’m sure it would have been easier for him had I not acted so level headed.
And now, almost a month later, I am still hung the fuck up on him. It’s not that I’m not looking. I deserve someone who is interested enough to talk to me about their fears. There must have been more things that he never mentioned that bugged him too. Bad must have outweighed the good.
But I’m still hung the fuck up on it. on him.